Cuba on my mind....in my body....part of my soul.

So removed am i at times from the rest of the world that quite frankly i must hold the dubious distinction of having been the last person on earth to know that Castro is dead, almost dead...at least has given up power (temporarily/for good?).

I got an e-mail from my ex-wife. How's that for the island still having an impact on my life. (still raw from the divorce, i hadn't heard from her in a while, i respected her need to no not contact me, and it had been weeks, then thanks to Castro, an e-mail from my ex!). So far i'm liking the impact his mishap has spawned. I'm not one for burning bridges so i'm also probably one of the few non-parent divorcees that still wants a friendship with their ex. Come to think of it the issue with Cuba is not so far removed from bitter or sweet divorces.

Mind you this is an island i have never visited....lest yu count in my mind. "Hope your going to write about this?" and that's all my ex-wife said...the subject line said "Castro"....so even then i had to wonder; "is he dead....no way!" Either way...she wrote me! Yay. Thanks Dr. C.

My fingers pecked furiously onto google. I downloaded an NBC news clip with Matt Lauer waxing on about an operaton and ceding power. Wow. This is it....but what is "it".

For years i grew up in a parallel universe of hotdogs by day and rice and beans at night. Cuba was always on the back-burner, especially at parties. While us kids were galavanting in the yard the "adults" would yap on about politics (Cuban politics of course) and they could go on till 1 or 2 in the morning....easily.

Time and time again; "Well he doesnt have long to go! He's getting old you know. He cant live forever!" That was when i was 10. At twenty it was the same broken record. 30? Ditto.

There are two things i believe you need to know concerning the whole Castro thing; One. Nothing lasts forever and Two; There is always good that comes from bad.

The first one is simple. It was innevitable that he goes, or will go, or might go. Gosh even now, the dude cant just die. Castro never does anything with great finality. There is allways a grey area. A MASSIVE grey area with him.

But on the second front, the one about good from bad. Lets face it, and i'm a radical mind you and certainly this is gonna sound odd to some of my family.....but in a sense Castro's entrance into the cuban history books spawned a movement (literally as many 100 thousands have moved to America to start life anew) that has allowed many (my family included) to live a life of freedom and prosperity that exclipses anything they could have achieved in Cuba.

Now i will get some debate on this since both sets of my family did very well for themselves in Cuba before Castro (beach side homes, maids, businesses strewn all over the island) but in this country they not only have matched that but in many instances have suprpassed it. Monetarily is one thing (there are some members of my family that are quite well off) but i'm focusing on stability and freedom of mind for the future.

Lets face it, Cuba was allways in flux. There was allways some quiver of a fault line in its politics and therefore the ability to sustain any sense of success, hard work, piece of property.....was going to be a risk. You can thank both Spain and America for that. And since we're talking Castro today, let us not forget that one of the main reasons or THE main reason he came to power in the first place was to throw off the shackles or marrionette strings being pulled by both Washington DC and the mafia in Cuba....that lets face it.....were indeed running the place.

Yes Cuba was technically its own sovereign state but when we (the USA) helped (key word here is HELPED, since the revolutionaries in the 1890's were doing quite well on their own in devastating Spanish military rule) kisck Spain out of Cuba and give back the country to the natives or newly minted Cubans......it would be key to know (since you will not find this detail in high school yearbooks) that the American Flag flew over Cuba for 4 years......AND IT ALMOST DIDNT COME DOWN.

From 1898 to 1902, Washington DC, not Havana, debated about what to do with "Cuba Linda" and in the end decided to give it back (actually they were bound by law to thanks to an ammendment pushed thru by Cuban revolutionaries living in exile at the time) but not without first "helping" them draft a constitution (that looked and sounded like ours - no problem there) and "helped" draft their trade/tarrif issues (that benefitted - surprise surprise, U.S. businesses) that eventualy really ended up running the place.

Which is why leader after leader was toppled, sent away, or de-throned......until Castro came along and said.....this is it. "I'm in charge" Good or bad, Castro did things his way. Look the guy is a monster, i have personal accounts of his attrocities, and i believe them. My family's gardener was a political prisoner for 20 years. My cousin who just arrived has told me first hand (fresh - not 40 year old) accounts of the political injustices, lack of possibilities etc. And a dear friend and fellow radical http://www.tcpalm.com/tcp/local_news/article/0,,TCP_16736_4886491,00.html
has also taght me lots about the truth about Cuba.

And the truth is, is that it is complicated. Yes, they have very little there in terms of stuff, food and options. But here we have too many. I think so much so that it very well might be oppressing us as much (al-be-it on the opposite side of the spectrum) as the folks in Cuba (my "hente") are oppressed.

Because of Castro; i am free to be me, free to think the way i want to think, go where i want to go. Because of Castro; my family can build a stable....long range future and not worry about the government taking over their businesses and confiscating items and property they worked hard to earn. Because of Castro; i would not have met amazing friend from Cuba that has opened my eyes about the realo truth about Cuba (for many years.....i had no idea who to believe). Because of Castro; I began my world walk in Key West.....since i told everybody the last place i want to walk as i go around the planet is Cuba....."after Castro dies".

He is and has colored our every or most of our present past and future. No Cuban, Cuban American or Miamian for that matter that can say that Castro hasnt impacted their lives. I believe if you press further and ask if he has impacted their lives for the better or for the worse...most might have to think twice (with the exception of those that have lost loved ones in his jail cells, firing lines, or on rafts) about the answer.

But the answer is always gonna be "well.....its complicated!"

Thats the only answer.

So....will Castro die. Is he dead.

I dont know. But i do know that a building block in the foundation of who i am has a piece of him in there. Cant escape that.