Fast Dog/Slow Ride. Why i leave the driving to Greyhound!

I am a world walker, yes, but i do plenty of travel in other ways. I love the train. Especially long overnights from Miami to DC or New York. Yes overnight! It takes nearly 24 hours to go what normally will take 2 hours by plane. So am i crazy? Well i don't think so. An even slower means of travel is by bus. But at a rate of 60 miles per hour, you gotta understand that is like rocket travel to me. I'm used to moving at only 2 to 3 mph by foot, still my preffered way of travel. At that rate, i don't miss a thing. There is nothing like plodding along, slowly crossing many miles of open spaces before i enter a town, city or metropolis.

But since i take copious amounts of breaks (in fact i'll take any excuse for a break) to work, see nearby communities, or just chill, i usually have to get to those locations by bus. That means Greyhound.

Most people recoil when i tell them how i'm coming to see them. I should say, most people i visit or jobs i take (whether it be a tour, estate sale, etc) aren't the type of folks that usually even would step on the bus, or haven't stepped on one for many years. I think they think its sort of below them in some way. That, there was a time in their lean and struggling days, that that form of travel was OK. Its too bad because they are missing out on what i consider to be the last real form of travel left.

For the record, i'm on planes quite a bit, so its not that i'm actively ignoring plane travel, its just i fly when i have to. As the lead guide for Educational Field Trips, for nearly six months of the year i am blessed with one of the most incredible jobs around. Get this. Not only do i get paid (handsomely i might ad) to travel, but they pluck me from the worldwalk route and fly me to either Boston, DC, New York, Philly or Florida to conduct 3 to 7 day tours where my every attraction, meal, hotel and entertainment (yes even Broadway plays) is paid for. This is all on top of my salary! Yes i know, i have it good.

So most of the time i fly to and from my walk (i always go back and pick up where i left off) on any one of the major airlines. Its sorta mission impossible like. I'll get a call or an e-mail from my bosses Mary, Patty or Monika (i call them Charlie's Angels - even though there is no Charlie) and "if i choose to accept" (my mission) i just show up at a nearby airport where electronic tickets are waiting for me at the counter. I love the extremes of my life and at times have been known to finish a section of the walk, get to a payphone in some small town, call a cab, be whisked off to the airport and board a flight....all within two hours of my finishing my walk. It gets better. When the plane touches down, i have been just 5 minutes away from meeting my intended group of 40 to 50 middle or high schoolers at a gate right next to mine and begin a tour. The group will have no knowledge that just three hours ago i was on some country lane in rural Georgia.

Back to flying. And yes eventually to my point as to why i prefer bus travel. It seems to me that for some reason, folks that fly are a bit to polished for my taste, a bit to.....how shall i say it....guarded, quiet, to themselves. Not all of course but many. Their patience level obviously is short too. They would never make it on a Greyhound Bus trip. I've seen folks loose it at a gate if a plane is gonna be 3 minutes late from taking off whereas on the bus delays are legendary or just part of the reality of "leave (ing) the driving to us!"

Sure its a two hour flight to New York from Miami or 5 hours across the U.S. but some folks don't really calculate the time and (sometimes hassle) of getting to an airport. Or the delays i have witnessed. On one occassion i was going from JFK to Miami. The flight was cancelled. I took the airline up on another flight from Newark, NJ, they said they'd provide a shuttle to get us there. So we boarded. Well in route we hit the worst traffic jam i've ever experienced. We were late of course to the other flight. Then the next flight out wasn't for another 4 hours. I bitched of course, got a refund, but by the time i got to Miami from the New York area, nearly 21 hours had elapsed for what should have been a 2 hour flight.

OK, that is an extreme case. I admit. But it does illustrate that at times, the fastest way to go, can sometimes match the slowest. Besides i like to read, i like to think and i like having time to do both. LOTS OF TIME! So with the bus, i can just board, get as comfy as i can, and read to my hearts content! I once read no fewer than 3 books on a 32 hour trip from Boston to Miami. And to tell you the truth, the time just evaporated. No it is not for everybody. But it works for me. Other great pluses are price; (I've been known to get 50 dollar deals from New York to Atlanta), easy access to stations (most are located centrally in major cities and of course in the middle of nowhere on my worldwalk route) and major entertainment (the crux of my argument below).

Ah yes, the real reason i prefer long distance, slow travel by Greyhound is dollar for dollar its one of the most colorful experiences you can have while travelling in the U.S. And some instances are dooseys. All provided free of charge, not by Greyhound, but by the very riders who hop aboard!

Ah, yes, the riders. Most folks who hear i just came off the bus, drop their voices 2 octaves, lean in, look around and say; "aren't there funny, weird people on Greyhound" (clearly meaning phychos, former prisoners and just plain low income scum - to be honest). I get this all the time. They are shocked when i say, its my most prefered way to travel. They just dont get it.

So i begin telling them of all the moments that just can't be replicated at 30,000 feet. Like the time the bus broke down outside of St. Augustine on my way to Jacksonville to resume a segment of the walk. What looked like an annoying disaster turned into a beautiful moment the likes of which i dont think anybody's ever seen in many years. One by one we filed out to see the bus driver's head totally engulfed inside the engine compartment. This did not look good. "We're gonna be here for a while", someone mumbled "so we better make the most of it!" Another person stepped off the bus with a big blanket, spread it out on a grassy embankment right there along the small highway. One by one, at first reluctantly, folks began sitting down. Someone made a dash across the street and bought some Kentucky Fried Chicken. Others shared cell phones to tell loved ones they'd be late. Yet others volunteered to watch the kids that were on the bus, play in a nearby field. Everybody began sharing stories of back home, hurricanes and family. We bonded. Here we were having a pic-nick on the side of the road in the sade of an oak tree, on an honest to God blanket the size of Missouri.

Who has pic-nicks any more? Who has pic-nicks with virtual strangers. Who has patience levels that rival open heart surgeons? None of this exists anymore in the hurry up and wait world of plane travel. This type of bonding doesn't happen in the Hertz rental car world. It happens on Greyhound though and it happens every day.

Yes there are the weirdos. Lots of which have just plain entertained the hell out of me. Yes there are the former, just-let-out-of-jail prisoners. On one occassion i overheard two just released jail birds openly planning their next heist and theyt had just met on the bus! That conversation is one i'd like to turn into a play one day. Yes, there is even the down and out folks who's lives are hanging by a thread. Who bring u back to earth. Who inject copious doses of reality in this growingly gussied up world.

There are the mexican immigrants, shuffling back and forth from region to region as the seasons change. With their big tall hats and their thinck accents. I help them quite a bit when they seemed puzzled as to what bus to connect to.

There are the plethora of blacks who singlehandedly i suppose keep Greyhound rolling. Not only are most of the drivers black, but the handlers, ticket agents and of course riders. To understand the state of black America today - one of subjects i'm most passionate about - u must experience Greyhound. I don't know the hierchy in the upper management echelons but at the core level (on the street) this is their network. They ride. They work. They move items (Greyhound has a vast shipping business that most of America is unaware of). All of it under a banner of a skinny dog that sprints at speeds that defy logic.

But on Greyhound, nothing is quick. Nothing is fast. It's a virtual time machine back to another era. But it is in the here and now. It is the best value in the transportation circuit. As long as you are not looking for speed as your primary concern for travel. There is more to life than how quickly u can get from point A to point B. Luckily, thankfully, there is a more human alternative.